STAYING POSITIVE

How well do you manage illness? Especially if it happens to a close family member?

My husband suddenly had severe pain last year. So, off we went to a private hospital, did all the tests and as soon as the doctor confirmed the illness he went through a procedure that cost a bomb.

Nevertheless, we were happy and thought that was the end of his pain...

The pain came back in a matter of 3 days and we went in again for tests and he again had to go through another session. Did all the pain go away? No .

There after for about a month my husband had to endure a lot of pain, sometimes he could not even get a blink of sleep. Then I decided to go for a second and a third opinion. We finally found the problem and he went through a major operation and was hospitalised for quite some time.

During those trying time, I really learnt the meaning of staying positive. The whole family's life was centred around school/office, hospital and home ( just to sleep - my eldest child had to sleep on the couch to accompany his father in the ward). I had to become a mother and father to my kids, run errants, do the household chores, help my kids with homeworks etc, etc. I still have to work and carry out my responsibilities as head of a department ( many times working from the hospital) and most of all I had to stay positive for the sake of my husband and kids.

I was faced with a lot of uncertainties during those months. The doctors had to do many tests to determine the cause of the illness - right to the possibility of whether it was cancerous. Any possibilites of a disease mentioned by the doctor would send me running to my laptop to surf for information. I wanted to know everything about it as well as how we ( meaning husband, myself and kids) must prepare for any eventualities.

There was also the time when I had to become a motivator to my husband who was wallowing in self-pity, feeling very sad and depressed.

The love and support from family and friends had helped me cope. Oh yeah... and a lot of prayers too! There really was a lot to deal with... how our life will change, how much it was going to cost and so on.

I am also thankful that my husband is a strong-willed person.

After being discharged from the hospital, he quickly realised that he had to learn to live with his condition. He was soon driving the car again . There are times when he feels tired, but these " bad days" are few. He usually can carry on with his everyday activities.

His positive attitude is quite remarkable - examplary even.

Because we had taken pains to find out all about his conditions and stayed positive, my husband has managed to live a normal life... so do the kids and me - a career woman.